When my children were young, I would often feel like the “bad” parent on the playground. I let my kids climb up high. I let them jump from heights. You could often see them playing with sticks, balancing on logs, hanging from bars and scaling walls. Other parents seemed uncomfortable with risky play for kids and wouldn’t allow their own children to do similar activities. I would wonder: by allowing my kids’ risky play, was I doing the wrong thing?
As parents, our instinct is to protect our children from harm. We tell them to be careful, not to climb too high, not to run too fast, and to stay where we can see them. Risky play for kids seemed like something we should avoid. But what if, in our effort to keep them safe, we are actually holding them back?
Risky play for kids—the kind that makes parents a little nervous, like climbing trees, jumping off rocks, or balancing on logs—is a crucial part of childhood development. It helps kids build confidence, improve coordination, and develop the ability to assess risks independently. In fact, children who engage in risky play often grow into more resilient, capable, and confident adults (Gray, 2014).
Instead of fearing our risky play, parents should embrace it – with the right balance of supervision and safety measures. Let’s explore the benefits of risky play for kids, why it matters, and how parents can support it without feeling anxious.
- what is risky play?
- the benefits of risky play
- why risk aversion can backfire
- how to safely support risky play
- risky play ideas to try
Risky Play for Kids
What is Risky Play for Kids?
Risky play is any type of play that involves some level of challenge, uncertainty, or potential for minor injury.
In a 2011 article in Evolutionary Psychology, researcher Ellen Sandseter identified six key categories of risky play:
- Great heights (e.g., climbing trees or structures)
- Rapid speeds (e.g., biking, sledding)
- Dangerous tools (e.g., pocket knives, hammers)
- Dangerous elements (e.g., fire or bodies of water)
- Rough-and-tumble play (e.g., wrestling, play fighting)
- Disappearing/getting lost (e.g., exploring independently)
These activities allow children to push their boundaries, test their physical and mental limits, and learn essential life skills in a natural and engaging way (NAEYC, 2023).
The Benefits of Risky Play for Kids
1. Builds Confidence & Resilience
When kids take risks and succeed, they develop confidence in their own abilities. More importantly, when they fail, they learn that setbacks are just part of the process. A child who stumbles while balancing on a log but gets up and tries again is learning resilience—a crucial life skill that will help them handle future challenges, both big and small (Childhood by Nature).
2. Improves Physical Coordination & Motor Skills
Activities like climbing, running, and jumping help children develop strength, coordination, and balance. Kids who engage in risky play often have better motor skills, which can actually make them less prone to injury in the long run because they learn how to move their bodies safely and effectively (NAEYC, 2023).
3. Enhances Risk Assessment & Decision-Making
One of the biggest advantages of risky play is that it teaches kids to assess and manage risks. They learn to judge how high is too high, how fast is too fast, and which situations are unsafe. Children who develop these skills early are less likely to take reckless risks later in life because they have a well-honed sense of judgment (BU Children’s Center, 2020).
4. Reduces Anxiety & Builds Courage
If children are taught that every risky situation is dangerous, they may develop unnecessary fear and anxiety. On the other hand, children who are allowed to engage in controlled risks become more comfortable with uncertainty and build true courage. They learn to face challenges head-on instead of avoiding them (CBC, 2020).
5. Encourages Problem-Solving & Creativity
Risky play forces children to think critically. How do I get to the top of this tree? Which rock should I step on next? How can I balance on this log without falling? These problem-solving skills translate into other areas of life, from schoolwork to social interactions to future careers (Gray, 2014).
Why Risk Aversion Can Backfire
Many parents believe that keeping their kids away from risky situations will keep them safe. While this might be true in the short term, overprotection can actually make children more vulnerable in the long run.
Children who are never exposed to risk don’t learn how to assess danger for themselves. As they grow older, they may either avoid challenges altogether or take reckless risks because they never had the opportunity to develop measured risk-taking skills. Studies even suggest that over-cautious parenting can contribute to increased anxiety in children (NAEYC, 2023).
How to Safely Support Risky Play for Kids
1. Supervise Without Hovering
Supervision is important, but it doesn’t mean stepping in at the first sign of uncertainty. Try the “17-second rule”, proposed by Mariana Brussoni, a professor at the University of British Columbia and BC Children’s Hospital: If you feel uneasy about how your child is playing, count to 17 before intervening. Often, children will figure things out on their own if given a little space (CBC, 2020, BU Children’s Center, 2020).
2. Encourage Preparation & Safety Measures
Risky play doesn’t mean reckless play! Teach your child how to prepare and take precautions:
- Wear a helmet when biking or skateboarding.
- Test a jump from a lower height before trying a higher one.
- Use a spotter when learning a new skill.
- Learn basic first-aid skills.
Brussoni also proposes a different way of looking at safety, suggesting that we consider ‘as safe as necessary’ over ‘as safe as possible’ (CBC, 2020). Rather than removing all obstacles (thorn bushes, etc.), we can teach our kids how to mitigate and navigate them.
3. Respect Different Comfort Levels
Some kids are natural thrill-seekers; others are more cautious. Encourage but don’t force. Let kids engage in risky play at their own pace while offering support and encouragement.
4. Consider Alternatives to “Be Careful”
How many times do we say “be careful” when watching our kids climb a tree, balance on a log, or scale a boulder? If we’re honest with ourselves, the answer will likely be “many times”.
In her 2018 article, “Stop Telling Kids to ‘Be Careful’ and What To Say Instead”, Josée Bergeron of Backwoods Mama highlights the issues with our constant refrain of “be careful”. She points out that this phrase is not specific enough, can be confusing, and can tend to instill fear.
Bergeron proposes several alternatives, to either foster awareness (“notice how…these rocks are slippery, the log is rotten, that branch is strong”) or encourage problem solving (“what’s your plan…”, “what can you use…”, “how will you…”). Read her post and practice these alternative phrases with your kids. You might just see them gain more confidence and awareness!
Risky Play Ideas to Try
Looking for ways to introduce more risky play for kids into your child’s life? Here are some great activities:
- Climbing trees
- Walking or balancing on logs
- Jumping off rocks or small structures
- Building and tending a small fire
- Using a pocket knife for whittling
- Playing with sticks
- Exploring rough terrain
My kids have decided to choose the most extreme/risky of sports as their main passion: downhill mountain biking. They speed down the mountain, launching themselves off 15-foot drops and shooting off massive jumps. I confess that my heart does flutter a bit when they’re about to go off a big jump, but I have also learned to trust their risk assessment and their awareness of Go / No-Go. (When to proceed and when to step back.)
I see now that this assessment and awareness has been honed over years of risky play: climbing trees, walking across logs, jumping off boulders and swinging from branches. They’ve tested their limits, gained confidence, and learned essential problem-solving skills to help them navigate risky situations.
And finding their passion — albeit a risky one — has been a great way to help my teens spend more time outdoors.
Embracing the Adventure of Risky Play for Kids
Instead of fearing risky play, parents should see it as an essential part of child development. Kids who engage in risky play become more resilient, confident, and capable of assessing risks in a healthy way.
By supervising without hovering, encouraging preparation, and allowing children to explore their limits, parents can help foster independent, courageous, and capable kids. Letting go isn’t always easy, but in the long run, a little risk today can lead to a stronger, more independent child tomorrow. So take a deep breath, step back, and watch as your child learns, grows, and thrives through the adventure of play!
More resources:
- Best Outdoor Gifts for Teens
- Getting Teens Outside: 25 Simple Strategies
- Outdoor Toys for Backyard Play
- How to Dress Your Kids for Outdoor Play in Any Weather
